In our world today, the topic of mental health is something that is talked about often these days. This topic has been on my mind lately. We see all over social media about Mental Health Awareness, from various platforms.
You probably would have never guessed that an outgoing, social butterfly, caring person like me, who is also a Christian, would have anxiety. I have anxiety for two reasons, one is because for me it is a genetic condition that has been passed down to me from my birth father’s side of the family, fun fact, I am adopted (that is a story for another time). Another reason why I have developed it is because I have been through some trauma when I was in my pre-teen years.
Anxiety is a very tricky, complex mental health issue. There are different levels of it and some are worse than others. Luckily, there is a lot of different strategies that people use to help manage their anxiety as well. That could be from taking medication, to getting counselling, to even sensory touch or music, and doing some simple breathing techniques from an app, i.e. the Calm app. Being a Christian and having my identity rooted in God helps so much.
Overtime, I have realized that there are pros and cons to having anxiety as well. Some of the positives of having anxiety for example, when I play basketball, with anxiety it can cause one to think of worse case scenarios. So for basketball, the worse case scenario you can get is a turnover; thus, I am able to work with my anxiety to create plays in my head for basketball. (It also helps that I have learned some plays too).
Also, another thing with my anxiety is that it causes me to be very hyperaware of what is going on around me, which can be a positive and negative thing as well. Some of the negative things about having anxiety are that it causes me to overthink a lot, that can result in having an anxiety attack because of all the things that are built up in my head.
As people who believe in God we have been told to “not be anxious” as said in Philippians 4:6. But for someone who has anxiety, this can be hard to do. Another phase we hear is “Pray and it will go away”, This phrase can be good and not great for someone who deals with anxiety. First, off you can not underestimate the power of prayer. Prayer is so important and I cannot emphasize that enough. However, saying that phrase to a person who has mental health it could possibly make their situation worse then it may seem. For some, they may think that it will go away instantly if you pray about it. It can be a struggle for me personally when I hear this phrase because I have prayed time and time again for God to get rid of my anxiety once and for all. I am not saying that I have little faith. But this phrase is a challenge for me grasp.
As life went on. I have always thought of my anxiety as a battle between God and I. There have been times where I would get angry at God, asking “Why do I have anxiety, why do I have to go through of this, why did you make to be like this.” It has been like this from time to time. However, recently, I read an article called, “How God feels about my Anxiety” by Joshua Lancette. At the beginning of the article, there is this quote,
“My anxiety is no longer something standing between God and me, it’s a place for us to connect.”
The first time I read that, it made me step back a little. After reading it a few more times and thinking about it. I came to an amazing conclusion. Sometimes we are asked the question, “Where do you see God the most?” To be honest, after reading this quote it made me realize that I see God the most amid my anxiety. It is not a battle between God and I no more, it is a place where I connect with God instead. I have been reflecting on it further and realized because of my anxiety God has shown and taught me different things as well. A theme that has been constant in my life is, “Be still and know” and God has brought up this theme repeatedly in different ways. Being still in the midst of say an anxiety attack is hard to do, but I hear God’s voice saying, “I’m here my child, I am here for you.” And I feel his comforting arms around me as I am going through an anxiety attack.
Another theme, that has continuously come up is the theme of Rest. More specially, internally resting when my mental health spikes. God has been speaking to me, “Read Psalms 23” “The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” (Psalms 23:1-4 NIV) Letting God lead to still waters to intentionally rest in His presence. Finding time to rest my mind and body especially when my anxiety spikes can be tricky because when that happens to me, I then cannot think clearing. So slowing down and using my techniques, praying all have helped me daily.
Anxiety is a daily battle for me. However, each and every time God shows up just in time to help. Our weakness makes us stronger and with God on our side. He is able to so much more than we can ever imagine (Eph. 3:20).
Lastly, a phrase that I tend to go over a lot is, “Faith over Fear, Mind over Matter”. Having faith that God can handle this is something that is key for any person who has mental health. I believe and know that one day it will go away, but for now, I have to trust and believe that God will be there always for me to lean on, and to find rest when my anxiety gets hard to handle.
God’s Daughter in Training 